Terminator 2

A scientific good time!

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Trailer

With Marshall Cox

This is one of my favorite movie because:

(Let’s be clear, Darch has seen all my favorite movies, this was, like, number 7 on the list) This movie introduced me to the concept of time travel as a narrative device. It was also the first of the Terminator series I’d seen. Which is crazy because if I’d seen Terminator 1 first, I likely wouldn’t have given this movie a second thought. (Which leads me to bring up my theory that James Cameron HAD to have seen Terminator 2: Judgement Day, and then traveled back in time to ensure that Terminator 1 got made, so that we could all experience one of the greatest movies ever made. (never really taking the time to realize that movies 3 through 11 might REALLY suck.))

I am shocked Darch hasn’t seen this because:

I’ve read this blog. I’m not shocked. however, it’s one of those movies that just exists in the pop-culture ether, to not get references to it seems like not understanding how to breathe. I just assume that EVERYONE has seen this movie.

The three parts I’m most excited for Darch to see are:

1. T-800 and T-1000 find John.

2. “What’s the dog’s name?”

3. T-800 shows Miles Dyson his arm (basically Miles Dyson’s entire arc.)

Darch

I’m pretty sure this movie is about:

A man that’s also a robot. He travels back in time to do something with Sarah Connor but like she’s braver than he thought she was? But I think Sarah Connor is an important part of the first one? (also unseen) so maybe like her son has to be saved in this one? Anything can happen guys, time is a flat circle. Then he kicks some ass and saves the day.

Famous scenes/lines I think are in this movie:

“I’ll be back”. Because there’s a third one right? So he probably says that. Also maybe “Get to the chopper”. There’s also probably a moment where like someone is shooting at him and he just effing plows through the bullets like no prob.

I haven’t seen this movie because:

I haven’t seen the first one. I usually watch things in order.

Darch types in gray over here.

Marshall types in red over here.

Cox boys comin in hot with the Run Times.

2hr 26min.

Cox boys Starbucks game strong.

VENTI!

Movie’s on, Darch is talking to Lorne.

—WE SET THE TWO SCENES, OUR WORLD AND THE FUTURE—

I already love the juxtaposition of girl having a fun time on swing to skeleton in car.

A tank literally crushing skulls as it drives is the picture of the apocalypse.

You know what would make war in the future look cool? Stutter the laser fire.

The idea that a robot could shoot a gun and miss it’s target is hilarious.

HER SON!!! Point Melissa.

—THE PAST. OR OUR PRESENT. WELL 1991, SO… BOTH?—

Lightning BAAAAAALLLLLL!!!!!!!!

I know I’m getting caught up in the science of it all, but his skin didn’t melt off in the lightning ball and his clothes did? Is that what we are assuming?

I know what the real answer is, but it’s not a good one. I’ll just let that one hang.

Already missing naked Arnold.

Why take the Jacket? Or the shirt, really, I mean, all he needs to cover is his dick…oh, and the glasses. The mission critical glasses.

I feel bad for cops in movies. They are literally always in over their heads.

OKay so these cyborgs know how to operate guns and drive vehicles but they don’t know to cover their dicks?

Of course they do. That’s why they steal the clothes. Non-organic materials don’t travel well (I told you it’s not a good answer)

“She’s not my mother, TODD.”- This kid nailing being a bad ass

Why would this cyborg choose a body SIGNIFICANTLY smaller than Arnold’s?

He didn’t build himself. Those kids just scammed an ATM with a computer that couldn’t keep up with my phone. WTF? I bet they phreak too.

—WE SEE SARAH CONNOR, EVERYONE FREAKS OUT BUT I HAVEN’T SEEN THE FIRST MOVIE SO I DON’T GET IT—

This metaphor of the destruction of innocence with the kids on a playground just isn’t going away is it?

If I ran a mental ward, and I don’t, I wouldn’t let my patients have hair in their eyes constantly. I feel like that would help reign in the crazy.

These people WANT to hold people down and stab them.

They don’t want Sarah Connor to get out of the asylum, so I made sure to get Sarah Connor out of the asylum.

—BAD CYBORG IS SEARCHING FOR YOUNG JOHN CONNOR—

Jenny Lewis!?

These kids are a bunch of fucking narcs.

Wasn’t Sarah also found in an arcade????

Mannequin foreshadowing.

That run.

OKay again. This cyborg is AT LEAST half robot. He would not be misjudging this truck and running into walls.

Bike transfer…BOOM!!!

Damn. Arnold is the cyborg we deserve.

Where’s the brain part of the T-1000? Like, if I just destroy that part, does he turn into goo?

—ARNOLD AND JOHN CONNOR BECOME BEST FRIENDS—

“What’s the dog’s name?”

“Max.” “Is Wolfy okay?” WOLFY? What the fuck kind of fake dog name is that? Where’s like Rover or Fido or some shit?

This crazy woman who thinks a robot came back in time to kill her might know who this dude is. Let’s ask her!

How did this scene start? Was Arnold like, hey you want to complain about your mom a little? Tell me some weird secrets.

Or Arnie was silent for so long that he gave in, and just started spilling the tea.

“Jesus you were going to kill that guy.” “Of course, I’m a Terminator.” Gold.

—ASYLUM BREAK OUT SCENE—

Lick…Just checkin’.

This nightguard’s job is to halfheartedly check every other doorknob?

One of my favorite parts of movies is kids teaching robots dumb stuff.

And the robots taking it entirely too literally.

That nurse broke Arnold’s glasses. I’m surprised he’s not more pissed.

“Come with me if you want to live”

I thought I would have more entertaining things to type. I can’t stop watching this movie.

I really do appreciate the conservation of mass in this movie. That the hand that becomes a knife can only be so long.

Son, reload!

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (T-1000 hook hands)

ARNOLD DOESN’T KNOW WHAT CRYING IS? You can’t tell me Sarah didn’t cry in the first movie.

“I have detailed files on the human anatomy.” Oh were tear ducts not in any of your files???

—SARAH STARTS TO TRUST THE CYBORG THAT TRIED TO KILL HER ALL OF LAST MOVIE—

Let’s reboot this piece of technology, you know the one that no one has any knowledge of, except the guy that is this machine!

“Was there a problem?” “No problem.” Well my internal clock says otherwise, STUPID!”

So wait… they didn’t reset anything. They just took that chip out, almost smashed it and then put it back in…

Nah dog, they put that CPU into write mode. (Don’t ask me how that works.)

Kids with guns.

—WE MEET SARAH’S “BAD GUY” (SOMEONE JUST STUDYING SCIENCE)—

Miles’ computer has the same “Pointless numbers” streaming down the side of the screen.

Is Raging Waters a California thing? I heard about it yesterday in Crazy Ex-Girlfriend.

RAGING WATERS! IT’S COLD WHEN IT’S NOT!

—WE MEET CHARACTERS THAT ARE ONLY IN THIS SCENE—

Enrique clearly speaks English. Why is Sarah insisting on Spanish?

Arnold never really learned how to hold a kid, did he?

I REALLY want an underground arms cache.

But with like, video games.

This is the best truck I got. Also, it doesn’t work.

What is it about penis size that make men just LOVE huge guns?

Same reason women LOVE huge purses, right?

“Hey kid, while I fix this car, you wanna tell me about your parents again?”

“Teach me to love.” -Arnold, in like 15 minutes.

Ummmm Sarah Connor is falling in love with Arnold?

Of all the fathers John has had, the robot that tried to kill me is his best bet.

Quick query: If Arnold hadn’t come back to kill Sarah Connor and told her all this information, would someone else have just stepped up and headed the revolution?

That’s the question that the next five movies and a tv show try to…continue to ask over and over and over.

—WE STILL DON’T ANSWER WHAT THIS DREAM SEQUENCE MEANS—

I don’t want to be this guy, but that blast leveled several buildings but couldn’t knock over a rocking horse? Or seperate Sarah from holding the fence? I actually do want to be this guy.

Time travel? Robots? Liquid Metal? Cool. Nuclear blast radius physics? Better be ON POINT!

How come this kid solved a riddle faster than A CYBORG that knows the future???

—SARAH TRIES TO CHANGE THE FUTURE BY CHANGING THE PRESENT WHICH IS OUR PAST—

If Sarah shoots this kid playing with his RC car we may have to turn off the movie.

EVERYONE STOP RUNNING TOWARD GUN FIRE.

NO SHIT!

This kid is crazy wise beyond his years. Especially for having grown up like flying helicopters and storing weapons in an underground bunker.

Now we’re going to sit down and talk, like you didn’t just see me rip my FUCKING ARM SKIN OFF OF MY METAL ROBOT SKELETON!

Also if a crazy ass woman came to my house and tried to kill me, I would NEVER let her sit behind me or where I couldn’t see her.

Also, don’t smoke in my fucking house!

This conversation is kind of making me excited to see Genisys.

—THEY DECIDE TO TEAM UP AND BREAK INTO A LAB—

This kids broke ass ATM theft calculator thing is going to hack THE science lab???

No. A grenade is. Cool.

Sunglasses a MAJOR KEY in this movie.

As is unnecessary head and body protection.

So Arnold is aiding in the destruction of his invention???

Per the reprogramming of his prime directive by John in the future…who won’t need to have done any of this if this plan works.

And yet no one questions that part.

“I’ll take care of the police.” “Hey wait you swore!” “We both know I have no idea what that meant.”

“I’ll just shoot AROUND them.”

NONE of these cops showed up in bullet proof vests?

Pre-9/11

Hell, Pre WTC bombing

This is NOT Miles’ day.

I would LOVE to be in John’s class for the “What did everyone do this weekend?” conversation.

THE image that pops into my head when this movie is mentioned.

“I’ll be back” YES! HE SAID IT!!! -Darch

Arnold getting so good at the knee cap shot.

“Let’s bring gas grenades.” “Ok, should we bring enough gas masks for everyone?” “Nah.”

That open window a little too far away for you?

This helicopter pilot SUPER regretting taking acid before work.

—THE BEGINNING OF A LONG CHASE SCENE—

With the ability to shapeshift comes the unfortunate side effect of choosing impractically large chase vehicles. It’s a trade skynet was willing to make.

I’m going to spend the rest of the movie trying to figure out what “BOL-L-GOL” means.

Best advice of the movie.

If something exists that would stop this silver surfer… it’s liquid nitrogen.

Duh, why didn’t we freeze him HOURS ago!?

SO SWEET. John taught him “Hasta la Vista, Baby” and how to love.

And to smile.

What happened to this cyborg when he got a pimple? Did filming just stop?

“Call to John.” -Robot who thrice today impersonated another person almost flawlessly.

T-800 is down for the count, it seems.

Is Arnold’s alternate power source… love?

“Get out of the way, John!”

Ah ah ah.

I like that the grenade turned this cyborg into a pterodactyl.

Damn it…I think this movie just tricked me into thinking I want to see the sequels…AGAIN.

I cannot self terminate. But I CAN have the idea, and ask you to do it. #FeatureOrBug?

Here shake my hand. A symbol you don’t fully understand.

Yeah! JC was JUST teaching him to high five!

HOW IS THERE A THIRD MOVIE?

How does he know thumbs up? Where are the deleted scenes for this movie?

Overall Rating: A

Comments: I LOVED this movie. Not just watching the movie but the whole experience. Seeing “cutting edge” sci-fi ideas and special effects from the 90’s now is always a joy, but I felt like they pushed the boundaries of things I never thought of. I need to see the first one maybe, or the next 8, or the TV show. Who knows? But I’m in. Also, I don’t think watching the order of the movies is important, because, you know, time is a flat circle.

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