The Adventures of Baron Munchausen

A metaphorical good time!

Advertisements

Trailer

With Ken Moore

This is one of my favorite movie because:

My dad and I are very different, but weird movies were always something we could bond over. So, I have a lot of great memories of watching this movie with my dad. I also love all the cameos and references throughout the movie. I also still really appreciate weird movies.

I am shocked Darch hasn’t seen this because:

I would be shocked if anyone HAD seen this movie.

The three parts I’m most excited for Darch to see are:

1. A psueodnym-credited cameo by a very famous comedian that you wouldn’t (or maybe would) expect

2.The beginning- I’m wondering how she will like the “call to adventure” scenes

3.The finale- it’s pretty polarizing with the four people who have seen this movie.

Darch

I’m pretty sure this movie is about:

Wow. This movie is a doozy. I am guessing it is an animated movie about a colorful monster who grew up poor and hated, but honestly just wanted to be a rich baron. He is always imagining his adventures, where he is a true and good hero, and has lots of money and feasts.

Famous scenes/lines I think are in this movie:

“You will never be a baron if you can’t stop munching houses!” There’s a scene where the monster wanders off alone into the rain, crying. He notices that his sword is just a stick and his shield is part of a door of a house he was previously munching. He gives up adventures just in time to start the greatest adventure of his lifetime- learning to love.

I haven’t seen this movie because:

Another movie that I have simply never heard about. The one I wrote about above seems really good though.

Darch types in gray over here.

Ken types in red over here.

I’m already very insecure about watching this.

This movie is so old the PG rating was in BLUE.

We are ten minutes in and just getting to the movie. Darch isn’t sure if it’s live action, in English or if this is all some weird elaborate prank.

—THE MOVIE STARTS WITH A BLOODY WAR—

Already like 100 people have died.

It’s hard to figure out the setting. There’s a lot of British spellings, but also Chinese cannons…

I’m personally offended the Baron Ringhausen is wearing a fake GIANT nose.

This movie is so elaborate with elegant costumes and tons of scenery. It was probably the most expensive movie no one has ever seen.

This pint sized feminist is plagiarizing all of her dad’s theatre posters.

—THERE’S A WAR BUT WE’RE ALL WATCHING A PLAY—

Baron Ringhausen is the only good actor in all of the plays he’s in.

I take it back. There is a real Baron Ringhausen and the nose is accurate.

Eric Idle always gets pulled into his friend’s terrible ideas.

Every character has one exaggerated feature. I don’t think it’s a stereotype, but I feel like I should be offended somehow.

WHAT TOWN IS THIS? No one has the same accent.

1800s Germany was a real melting pot of culture and accents.

Cue: Mr. Magoo laugh.

Cue: weird nudity

Okay Real Baron Munchausen just started telling his side of the story and every is ready in costume WITH PROPS to act it out? I don’t buy it!

I can appreciate the sets in the design of Terry Gilliam now. Neat castles and scenery.

—WE MEET B. MUCH’S CREW OF SUPER TALENTED LEGENDS—

Okay so this whole movie is like if the guy who wrote/directed Holy Mountain was in charge of X-Men.

The men’s eunuch chorus is all made up of Horatio Sanz.

Okay this is like Big Fish if Big Fish had layers like Inception.

The cast is really shaping up. We’ve got legs guy, ears guy, eyes guy and then… some other guy.

Update: Ears is also able to literally blow armies away.

Baron Munchausen is like Tinkerbell. If no one listens to his inane ramblings, a caricature of death pulls out his energy ball and he dies. Unless a little girl saves his life.

—A WAR IS STILL GOING ON IN THE REAL WORLD—

“Go away! I’m trying to die!” -thesis of the movie.

Fun fact, the swimming phenomenon known as “the cannonball” originated in germany when a guy was flown through the air holding a cannonball.

The girl who sees death’s father has REALLY red hair. So does death… coincidence? Or a metaphor that I don’t understand?

First Ken and I argued if a butt was real and now we don’t know if this lady is Jane Krakowski. We’re having a good time.

Sorry, but if there’s two things I know, it’s butts and Jane Krakowski.

They are making a hot air balloon out of underwear. The plot is really picking up.

I just choked on pizza gasping at the murder of this child. She was almost thrown over the side of this jank hot air balloon.

Baron Munchausen’s grumpy old man delivery of lines is genius.

“We’re going to the moon.” “You know the king and queen of the moon? They have detachable heads”

“Their heads go on intellectual discussions and their bodies perform more… bodily functions” Is it sex or farting???????

And NOW the movie begins.It’s about to get real F’in weird….

This old man HATES this child. I hope it works out.

—AGAINST ALL ODDS, THEY MAKE IT TO THE MOON FROM GEORGES MELIES’ 1902 TRIP TO THE MOON—

This is the part of the movie where it helps to watch when you’re a child. You question everything a LOT less.

This is how Step Sister from Planet Weird was dreamed up.

But Robin Williams is not credited in the movie. Instead it’s Ray D Tutto…so.. This movie was too weird for even Robin Williams to claim.

Mystery solved. The bodies were sexing.

“I’m your elephant of Joy” says the King of the Moon sexily.

Jane Krakowski is the Queen of the Moon. She had a fling with the Baron even though she’s 200 times bigger than him. I’m not gonna try to guess how that worked.

Also, she isn’t allowed to speak. Even on the moon the earth is ruled by men.

And now we start the Wizard of Oz portion of the movie.

Legs!

“Her body is with the king. He’s… tickling her feet.” Best euphemism I’ve ever heard.

—THEY ESCAPE AND FALL INTO MOUNT ETNA—

The scene changes from the beautiful scientifically aesthetic moon and stars and right into that part of LOTR where the super orcs are grown out of the earth.

Baron Munchausen introduces himself and says “You may have heard of me” and then the next guy goes “I’m God.” The ULTIMATE “you may have heard of me” but he doesn’t say it. Our God is an Awesome God.

(movie break where we feed the cat some pizza)

Pretty sure the first breasts I saw as a kid were Uma Thurman’s as Venus.

There are A LOT of references I don’t understand but when I see a clam slowly opening I KNOW it’s the Birth of Venus homage.

All these women are into Baron Ringhausen. I guess the nose plays.

This movie is like if Tim Burton had to make a live action Brittish cartoon and was given ALL the drugs.

This movie would be an hour shorter without things like dancing for no reason.

And a cow in the godly bedroom for some reason.

The pint sized feminist is the least likeable character. And the biggest cock block.

And Vulcan throws the Baron in the Augustus Gloop river. It took him five minutes to throw him in. We could easily edit it down to 30 seconds.

This movie got super murdery. And now the Volcano God is like… turned on.

—THEY SURFACE, UPSIDE DOWN, OF COURSE—

They’re near an island. I’m taking bets right now for whether it is ears guy or eyes guy.

It wasn’t an island. It was a giant whale. And… bets are closing.

It’s Monstro from Pinnochio. Killing it with allusions.

There’s a pirate poker game that’s been going on for 20 years. No eating. No drinking. Just poker.

They are all LITERALLY playing games with Death. A metaphor I don’t understand.

Curveball. Eyes AND Ears. And horse.

They’re out of the fish. Because of drugs.

I wish I’d never studied science. I’d like this movie a lot more.

—THEY MAKE IT BACK TO THE WAR AND EVERYONE IS LOSING—

Truly, “Adventures” are a young man’s game.

Very little of this movie makes any sense.

The “guys” are old now. They don’t have powers. Baron is young again because of cartoon physics. Old guys give up. So, the Baron is giving himself up. There. Everyone is caught up.

Negotiating terms of surrender “What about the virgins?” “Please, we are out of virgins.”

The old guys got their powers back! Or they never lost them, or something. Eyes is seeing! Ears is blowing! Horse is jumping!

This movie was the origin of “bullet time” as running guy runs and catches the bullet.

They are filming Legs the same way they film Quick Silver in XMen. This must be every director’s favorite place to get ideas.

The Turks are being defeated. And that is why we don’t have Turks anymore.

The battle is won because of elephants’ well known fear of mice.

The sultan’s tactic has been “hide under this blanket”.

—THE WAR IS WON BY THE VICTORS!—

The poorest town on Earth that has been under siege for years is throwing a damn good impromptu parade.

Bad Napoleon just shot Baron Ringhausen resting his gun on the shoulder of death. A metaphor I don’t understand.

And the Baron is shot, a creepy doctor comes in to save him- but it’s actually Death! And Death pulls out the glowy marble that we all have inside us to add to his collection or something I don’t know.

—WHAT? EVERYTHING HAS BEEN A STORY THE WHOLE TIME—

And then we find out the whole movie was a dream Bob Newhart was having.

“Everyone, who had time for it, lived happily ever after.”

Everyone is back to normal! Horse is still horsing!

The end?

Overall Rating: B+

Comments: This movie was great. I think it’s based on a book and has been made before and this version is about as whimsical as they come. It reminded me of the directing style of Yann Samuel (He did J’eux d’enfants and the Americanized My Sassy Girl) which essentially translates to– this movie is great and no one will ever appreciate it and it is 100% in my wheelhouse. I only gave it a B+ so people didn’t think I was grading it too unfairly.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s