Dick

A giggling good time!

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Haven’t seen the movie? Me neither! Watch the trailer here.

With Christen Ringhausen

This is one of my favorite movie because:

Wouldn’t go as far as to put this in the top 10, but two girls taking on the world? Seems fitting.

I am shocked Darch hasn’t seen this because:

She loves ‘teen’ movies. Plus, it’s political and nerdy!

The three parts I’m most excited for Darch to see are:

1. Not see, HEAR. The soundtrack gives me life.

2. Very last scene. American flag outfits. ‘You suck….. DICK!’ (Need I say more?)

3. Michelle Williams singing Olivia Newton John into Nixon’s secret white house tapes.

Darch

I’m pretty sure this movie is about:

I mean, knowing Christen, it really could just be about Women sleeping around. But I’m going to give her the benefit of the doubt and go a more Dick Tracy direction. I’m going to guess it’s about a boy named Richard but everyone calls him Dick. And boy, does he hate it. All he wants is someone to call him Rich, but it just won’t happen. The movie starts with him waking up being called Dick by his dick older brother and hating it. But when he wins the heart of the school and they all start chanting his name, he finds out maybe, he’s been a Dick all along.

Famous scenes/lines I think are in this movie:

“Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick!” “You can’t jump the pond, Dick!”

I haven’t seen this movie because:

My mother never would have allowed such a filthy movie in our house.

Darch types in gray over here.

Christen types in red over here.

Red. Like the color of periods. Or lipstick. This is such a girl movie.

Christen is making us watch the movie on volume “19”. So controlling.

—JOURNALISTS WON’T REVEAL DEEP THROAT—

WILL FERRELL. Already in love with this movie.

I hate Will Ferrell. If I would have remembered he was in this movie, I would have picked a different one.

I thought the whole movie was a Larry King show. Phew.

—MICHELLE AND KD ARE BEING TEENS—

Michelle Williams is amazing.

I will NEVER admit that I love Kirsten Dunst.

It’s US.

Classic creepizoid business man watching teenage girls.

He literally just ‘slurped.’

Can’t wait for two innocent girls to get caught up in the scandal of the century.

These girls live in a hotel, right?

THE WATERGATE COMPLEX.

It’s us, but I don’t tell Christen that she’s a genius this often.

Also, I’m KD, right?

I wish I was Michelle, but I feel like I’m probably the dingy-er one. #lesigh

A man just entered with a sweet moustache. Molestache. Thigh-tickler.

LOVING that their defense mechanism was yelling and voo-dooing handsing the man.

— CLASS FIELD TRIP TO THE WHITE HOUSE—

I take it back, you’re totally Kirsten. Happier.

 

HEY I recognize you and heres a piece of paper with gum on it and ALL THE IMPORTANT INFORMATION IN THE MOVIE. Souvenir!

Nixon pacing in his office complaining that his dog doesn’t like him. Like THAT’S the problem plaguing America.

—THE MEET THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES—

What exactly is a yam? A sweet potato?

I would take any job offered to me by the President. Even Dog walker.

I’d inquire about the pay rate.

‘War is not healthy for children and other living things,’ says Arlene. She should run for Miss America.

“I have something to say” says the 15 year old girl to HENRY MFing KISSINGER.

—THEY GO TO KD’s HOUSE—

“Your brother is being deported.” Deported? Drafted? Same thing?

“Let’s bake the president cookies!” People are so better off nowadays being raised by television.

YAAAAS accidently baking pot cookies for POTus.

—BACK TO THE WHITE HOUSE WITH POT COOKIES—

WTF? Everyone is just cool with these teenagers in the white house.

‘It’s alright. I’m familiar with these two young ladies… Well, not familiar-familiar, obviously.’ Good save.

Are we to believe, honestly, BELIEVE that these girls are somehow stopping this war?

Okay, now the girls are just wandering around on their own?

I wonder if Nixon’s friends referred to him as ‘Milhous.’

Also, they are the official white house dog walkers…. and SECRET YOUTH ADVISORS.

“Checkers pooped” “The President’s dog doesn’t poop, he does his business.” “Ohh.”

I’m pretty sure the movie is 90% improv. “Nice painting of a boat.”

—NO ONE BELIEVES THEY KNOW THE PRESIDENT—

I’m also loving hippie poetry class. I wish we’d had this earlier.

THEY JUST TAUGHT DICK THE DOUBLE PEACE SIGN.

Are we to believe, honestly, BELIEVE that no one in the white house smokes weed?

Per the lack of commentary, we must be REALLY into this movie. SCORE!

—THINGS PROGRESS QUICKLY, THE GIRLS WATCH THE NEWS—

NOW THEY ARE CALLING THE PRESIDENT???

‘There must be something you desire,’ says the president. ‘YOUR DICK,’ says Arlene’s brain.

The President, trying to subtly bribe a girl who has literally never heard the word “bribe” before.

Anna Geyster is a queen in this role.

One of my favorite scenes.

These girls find a secret recorder in the President’s desk and their first thought is let’s confess our completely inappropriate love for this old man????

This is also a 18 minute love letter.

—THEY CONFRONT NIXON—

‘We don’t think you’ve been honest with us….’ [MONOLOGUE ABOUT WATERGATE FROM NIXON] ‘Actually, it’s just about the dog. You act like you like him but we don’t think you do.’

SERIOUSLY? They’ve uncovered the biggest mystery in Politics and they are just all on about the dog?

These 15 year olds DROPPING KNOWLEDGE. “If you stay, you’re as bad as he is.”

—THE GIRLS GET BORED AND CALL IN A HOT TIP—

Prank phone calls? Let’s just unravel the biggest mystery of all time???????

This guy just had to brush his hair away from his face so he could hear. Maybe he could cool it with the hairspray???

I’m honestly surprised his shirt isn’t half open to show you his sweet 70s chains.

Dog just ate the MOST IMPORTANT document.

—THEY MEET IN SECRET WITH THE JOURNALISTS—

GENIUS. One only has paper, one only has a pen.

I’ve never described a human as ‘fleshy.’ Going to have to store that adjective away.

“Give me skin Daddy.” “No.” Good call Will.

Why have we not been counting the number of dick jokes? New drinking game? I think YES.

‘You’re so late, your TV dinners are ice cold. In fact, they’re frozen again.’ There is NOTHING more depressing than that.

Ummmmmm if I were a single mom, I would not want my hot new lover hitting on my daughter in front of me.

—THE GIRLS START BEING WATCHED—

The fake business on the side of this van is just “The Plumbers.” No funny slogan even.

I love in movies that garbage bags that people jump into are always just filled with packing peanuts. No one ever throws away raw meat or like wire hangers in the movies.

And, Ryan Reynold’s first movie (at least in my mind). Three mins of screentime, baby.

I feel like we’re glazing over the fact that Ryan Reynolds said “My dad’s an arms dealer”.

Third time in the movie they’ve used the old scream in their faces and run tactic and it’s WORKED.

—THEY ARE OFFICIALLY DEEP THROAT—

“We’re never going to reveal your identity. It’s just too embarrassing.”

These journalists are such shlubs.

But they have the thickest neck knots around.

—NIXON IS IMPEACHED—

Betsy, Betsy, stop trying on that hat alone in the store and watch this wall of tvs with me!

I feel like my eyes are going to see the world in only sepia for at least a solid day after this flick ends.

Everyone’s life was DRASTICALLY changed because of Watergate and these girls are just like making clothes.

Overall Rating: A

Comments: I loved this movie. I have suggested it to a weird amount of people since. It’s just fun and stupid and funny. No thought required. it is a great movie to watch while you’re during something else. Seriously, watch it. If you can stand girls giggling and being idiots while unknowingly taking down a President, this is YOUR MOVIE. (Also, maybe the only movie)

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