On the Waterfront

An Oscar-winning good time!

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Never seen the movie? Me neither! Watch the trailer here.

With Panagiotis Papavlasopolous

This is one of my favorite movie because:

It’s a god damn classic. This is Marlon Brando at his best. Here’s a dumb, depressed, two-bit nobody lamenting about how terrible his life is. Who can’t identify with that? And that taxi cab scene is one of the greatest scenes ever filmed.

I am shocked Darch hasn’t seen this because:

It’s a god damn classic. Also, it won multiple Oscars so I figured Darch would have been motivated by that at least.

The three parts I’m most excited for Darch to see are:

1. The taxi cab scene! We could just watch that on repeat for an hour and call it a night.

2. The priest’s sermon on the docks.

3. Brando’s triumphant final walk to report for work. 

Darch

I’m pretty sure this movie is about:

A guy down on his luck. I think he maybe was a boxer and now he’s reflecting back on his life. It’s definitely in black and white because Pete picked the movie, and it’s definitely going to be stunning when thinking about it through the eyes of a person in the 1950’s (or whenever it was made).

Famous scenes/lines I think are in this movie:

I know “I coulda been a contender” is in this movie. That is about it. I’m actually really unclear if “I’m walking here!” is in this movie, or if people just guess it’s in this movie because of Marlon Brando.

I haven’t seen this movie because:

I’m not sure. It’s been on the list of AFI’s Top 100 that hangs on my wall since I was in high school, I don’t know why I haven’t gotten around to it yet.

Darch types in gray over here.

Pete types in red over here.

Very excited about this!

Pete told me this movie won 8 Oscars. I’m going to try to guess all of them.

—THE MOVIE STARTS AFTER I EXPLAIN TECHNOLOGY TO PETE—

The movie opens ON THE WATERFRONT. Take a shot.

Is there a Jazz oscar?

I’ve never seen a movie with Marlon Brando where he doesn’t yell a name at a window.

Already, two bird references

—JOEY IS THROWN OFF A ROOF, BRANDO IS THROWN OFF HIS GROOVE—

A really really old Willem Defoe is in this movie.

The guy hates his son in 12 Angry Men is also washing his hands for a long time in this movie.

He’s been type cast as an asshole.  What a career.

Eva Marie Saint’s first movie…one of the 8?

There’s one guy with glasses in the room. He’s the accountant.

—BRANDO TRIES TO GO BACK TO HIS REGULAR LIFE—

Brando’s only friend in the world is an 8 year old.

I bet at least four of those birds count him a friend.

—DOWN AT THE DOCS—

Dock workers wear my favorite hats.

Brando really hates short cops.  Called him “buster”, and followed it up with “girlfriend” and “shorty”

Oscar for the bravest priest.

Look at the schnoz on the priest, I bet his nose is ordained too

You need tokens to get into this job. Is it… an arcade?

My inner 13 year old is super jealous.  I wanna play this Waterfront game so bad!

—PRIEST CALLS A SECRET UNION MEETING IN THE CHURCH—

Oscar for the priest really loosely tying the bible to his speech about unions.

No one suspects the hood Brando sitting at the back of the church by himself.

—BRANDO SAVES EDIE AND STARTS COURTING HER, WEIRDLY—

Even the bum knows Brando did it.  He called him out right in front of Joey’s sister.

“What did that guy mean when he said you killed Joey?” “Oh nothing.”

Brando putting on her glove is a huge move in the 1950’s.  I think that means they are going steady already.

She grabbed his hand! I mean, her glove.

“You grew up very nice.”  I gotta remember that one.

“I remember the first time I saw you” “Quite a nose, huh?” MY LIFE STORY

Did Brando just INVENT NEGGING?

—POP HAS A HEART TO HEART WITH EDIE, SHE STILL LOVES BRANDO—

Now her own dad outs Brando.  She still doesn’t get it.

Look. My arm is 2 inches longer than the other. Because I worked so hard. NOT A THING.

First Brando moves in on the dead guy’s sister.  Now he’s moving in on the dead guy’s pigeons.What a guy.

Brando’s 8 year old bestie is SO JEALOUS of the attention Edie is getting.

That kid probably won an Oscar for this.

One of these pigeons for SURE won an Oscar.

—BRANDO TAKES EDIE TO A BAR WITH A PRIVATE DOOR FOR WOMEN—

“Oh what a fruitcake you are.” WOMEN ARE SWOONING OVER BRANDO.

And then buys her a shot.  Simpler times back then.

Brando half-way confesses to killing her brother and she STILL doesn’t get it.

“It wasn’t my idea to kill him.” “What do you mean?”

Someone got married in this Saloon?

And for the second time, Brando has to help Edie out of a building.

And for the second time, Brando feeds Edie.

Brando just INVENTED wedding crashers (the movie)

This guy is literally Frankenstein’s monster!

Brando was just subpoenaed for the murder of her brother, right in front of her, and she STILL doesn’t get it.

“What are you going to do?” She whispers conspiratorially.

—BRANDO GOES TO SEE THE MOB BOSS, FRIENDLY—

Timothy J Doogan just became the enemy. I don’t know much about him, just his sweet name.

There’s nothing better than getting slapped by Johnny Friendly.

They are moving these boxes of Irish Whiskey MAYBE three feet. The first team should have just done that.

Doogan just got doog’d.

This might be the 2nd best scene in the movie.

Second time the priest VERY LOOSELY tied the happenings of this union/gang to the bible.

Why is Edie continually allowed to be in dangerous situations?

I think she can’t enter a building without the priest showing her how to get in.

Or leave a building without Brando’s help.

Looks like she got Joey’s coat back.

There’s nothing cooler than a chain smoking priest.

Oscar for most dangerous stunt on a pallet being lifted by a crane.

I guess the real question is, is Brando a hawk or a pigeon?

—BRANDO GETS A CONSCIENCE

“No one should be silent. Everyone tell me your secrets” “Hey father, I’d like to tell you my secrets.” “Go away Brando.” PICK ONE.

Without them, Edie just walks around aimlessly outside.

This probably would have been a great conversation…

#writersstrike

How come this cop isn’t like “Why aren’t you kids in school?”

—BRANDO AGREES TO GO TO TESTIFY IN COURT—

The logic here is that Brando has been making eyes at a hot chick, so the whole operation is going under. How integral is Brando?

WTF does give him the “jerry g” mean?

Apparently it means to go kill your brother.

How does everyone know that Brando hangs out on a random roof? Is that address listed?

This is literally the best scene ever filmed.Ever. All 8 Oscars, right here!

$400 a week? In 1950???? That’s what I make now.

I love how hurt Brando is throughout this scene.  Him saying “Charlie” over and over again is pure gold.  

Oscar for most dramatic score.

“It wasn’t him Charlie, it was you”  So damn good.  “I coulda taken Wilson apart.””You were my brother Charlie, you shoulda watched out for me.”  Everyone knows the “I coulda been a contender” line, but everything before that was gold too.

How lucky that Charlie dropped Brando off RIGHT OUTSIDE of the underground murder garage.

—BRANDO GOES TO EDIE—

Also, I’ve never seen a Brando movie where he doesn’t yell at a woman and then immediately kiss her.

“Hey, Terry, you’re brother’s down here, he wants to see you!”

No brother in sight. The fix is in.

Truck drives by to reveal dead brother??? 1950’s audiences scandalized.

Poor Charlie.

“I’m gonna take it out on their skulls!”

—BRANDO GOES TO FRIENDLY’S BAR… FOR REVENGE—

No one told the accountant that they were splitting.

Oscar for least amount of fucks given about bloody arms.

Brando tells the priest to go to hell, immediately gets punched in the face.

How many men went out and bought this plaid jacket after this movie?

—BRANDO RATS ON THE GANG IN COURT—

12 Angry Men guy looking just as mad to be in a courtroom as he was last time.

He just rejected Edie to go be with his birds.

And his 8 year olds.

“A pigeon for a pigeon.”  This movie just took a Game of Thrones turn.  Red Wedding has nothing on this slaughter.

—BRANDO GOES BACK THE DOCKS, WHERE PEOPLE HATE HIM—

HE SHOWS UP IN JOEY’S JACKET. HE’S A PIGEON. HE’S A PIGEON.

I don’t understand why Old Willem Defoe doesn’t like Terry.

Being a pigeon is worse than killing your kid.

—BRANDO HAS SOME CHOICE WORDS FOR FRIENDLY—

Smooth move on 12 Angry Men trying to fight a champion boxer that COULDA BEEN A CONTENDER.

Yo Brando, I know you just got beat up by 8 dudes, and we made you take on the whole mob alone, but we really need you to do another thing.

So ungrateful.  

The things a fella will do to prove he’s not a bum.

This scene is identical to how I feel driving probably twice a week.

I’ve never seen a Marlon Brando movie where the closing scene isn’t a door closing.

Overall Rating: A

Comments: I LOVED this movie so much. Every second of it I was wrapped up in what was happening. I understand why it’s a classic that still holds up. I can definitely see myself owning and watching this movie. Please watch it. If not for the love of birds or boxing, if not for the love of Eva Marie Saint (a movie I learned about via Lucky Number Slevin) please watch this movie because now I have a huge crush on Marlon Brando.

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