Hunt for the Wilderpeople

A burger ring good time!

Never seen the movie? Me neither! Watch the trailer here.

With Charles Harris

This is one of my favorite movies because:

It’s funny as hell but also makes me cry. Stylistically, it’s a blend of my two favorite filmmakers (Wes Anderson and Edgar Wright) but manages to feel fresh and unique. It’s a nice peek into a culture that’s relatively unseen by American audiences. And, lastly, I identify with depressed kids so I’m all about those types of characters.

I’m shocked Darch hasn’t seen this because:

It’s so goddamn good. The entire world needs this movie in its life.

The three parts I’m most excited for Darch to see are:

1. The Ricky Baker song
2. Sam Neill jumping to slaughter a boar
3. The Sarah Connor bit

Darch

I’m pretty sure this movie is about:

A secret group of people at Harvard. The new nerds hear about this secret club through a series of clues left for them after their chess club meetings. But will they be disappointed in a club that doesn’t live up to their expectations? Will they finally be accepted?

Famous scenes/lines I think are in this movie:

“Where are the Wilderpeople? WHO are the Wilderpeople?” “That can’t be what the clue means, it’s too simple.”

I haven’t seen this movie because:

I’ve never heard of it. ALSO IT’S NEW. Give me a break, people.


Darch types in gray over here.

Charles types in maroon over here.

Charles is making me watch with closed captions. ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS.

This is directed by my boi Taika Waititi. He’s making the next Thor film. He’s dope.

—WE MEET THE ORPHAN—

Kid’s in the Illuminati. Get out your decoder rings.

200

Auntie Bella is not taking any of Paula Hall’s shit

“This kid is a reallll bad egg. You know, kicking stuff, spitting. The list goes on.”

I really identify with Sam Neill‘s grumpiness.

“Sorry about Hec, he’s a silly old goat.” New catch phrase.

—RICKY BAKER TRIES TO RUN AWAY, NO ONE MUCH MINDS, HE COMES BACK—

One time in Iceland I snuck out of a farmhouse in the middle of the night and almost got trampled by a ram. This dude is lucky.

I also really identify with Ricky’s interest in pancakes

Ricky is a Haiku master. He is not very good at naming them though.

OH you don’t want to pluck this dead squirrel’s skin? Okay let’s go play guns. BEST FOSTER PARENTS.

—RICKY AND AUNTIE BELLA START TO BOND OVER… SOMETHING—

Auntie Bella just slaughtered a pig and looks like Carrie now

If Hector doesn’t like this song, he doesn’t like anything.

—AUNTIE BELLA DIES. THAT QUICKLY—

OH man. Hector has to take care of this kid and he doesn’t even know how to smile himself.

Ricky just made Hec dinner. It’s burnt toast. I’m crying inside.

WE’RE ONLY ON CHAPTER TWO?????

This letter just said “Sorry sir that you lost someone important, we’d like to also take away the only other person you know.”

—RICKY AND HECTOR GET IN A FIGHT, RICKY DECIDES TO RUN OFF INTO THE BUSH—

This kid is like, me, Bella and old waterbottly are going to the sky place.

RIP Ricky Baker. It’s a fake Ricky though. Ricky Faker. I’m sorry for typing that.

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(I’d like everyone to know I could have deleted the above comment and did not.)

I’m glad to see Ricky really prepared for this trip.

Hec just found Ricky. But more importantly, Zag found Tupac.

—HEC GETS HURT. THEY ARE STUCK IN THE BUSH FOR SIX WEEKS—

The only thing Ricky has at his disposal in the Bush is haikus

AND DANCE

2001

 —HEC CAN WALK NOW. THEY GO TO A HUT AND FIND OUT THEY ARE WANTED—

“Most people die naked. But the trick is, don’t take off your clothes.” I’m ready for the jungle now.

Charles told me this is real, but it’s really cool that there are just houses for people in the bush to chill out.

But also, probably a lot of murders happen there.

Of all the times Hec has told Ricky to shut up, he neglected to do it when Ricky accidentally made it sound like he was being molested.

Dude’s got one bum leg and can take on three grown ass adults.

“GUN FIRES, MEN WHIMPER” is my favorite subtitle so far.

Hec has finally accepted Ricky as a travel companion. Now. it’s basically Pixar’s UP but with fewer dogs.

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—PAULA IS ON THE HUNT FOR RICKY WHICH MEANS… WE GET ANOTHER MONTAGE!!!—

One of my favorite things in movies/television shows is when people are doing tasks WAY OUT of the scope of their actual professions. This lady would just be waiting for the police to return with Ricky.

Darch is right about Paula. Homegirl’s been watching too many Law & Order re-runs.

Hec just threw a stick at a building to make sure the coast is clear. That is how I want to announce my entrance at parties from now on.

—RICKY HAS TO GO FIND HELP. HE MEETS THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE AND SHE TAKES HIM TO HIS HOUSE TO CALL THE COPS—

“OMG It’s the missing kid, everyone is worried about his health. Can I have a selfie?”

2002

This girl’s dad is my favorite character in the movie. He loves sausage. He loves bros. He loves Maori representation. And I love him.

Ricky is basically a Hobbit. He loves bread, he follows an old dude around the forest, and he can’t properly dismount a horse.

—RICKY AND HEC ARE SEPARATED BUT STILL INDIVIDUALLY RUNNING FROM AN INSANE PAULA HALL—

Ricky is PRO at camouflaging.

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BIG TERMINATOR fight. Very adult.

—THEY MEET UP AGAIN! THE GANG IS ALL TOGETHER! THEN, ZAG DIES—

Wasn’t sure if I should warn Darch about Zag and the Boar.

HE SHOULD HAVE.

There is a website that I check before I watch every movie called doesthedogdie.com. This is not a bit.

—STILL ON THE RUN BUT THEY ARE CLOSING IN. BOTH THE COPS ARE CLOSING IN AND ALSO RICKY AND HEC ARE CLOSING IN ON BEING BEST FRIENDS—

Dude is spreading the lore about HIMSELF. “Yeah, I’m Psycho Sam, you’ve heard of me.”

Rhys Darby is in EVERYTHING made in New Zealand. He just shows up on set I think.

Hec complemented Ricky’s Haiku. If I hadn’t seen this three times this month, I’d be crying right now.

Rhys Darby just tried to “Clap off” a candle.

—THE COPS FIND THEM AT PSYCHO SAM’S HOUSE AND THE CAR CHASE BEGINS—

And now the movie looks a lot like GTA

WOW. The budget New Zealand has to send out like 8 tanks to bring in one kid that is a ward of the state. Incomprehensible. No wonder their math scores always beat us.

#SkuxLife

Also #TupacLives

—CAUGHT. THE TRIAL IS A MONTAGE OF COURSE. RICKY GOES HOME WITH THE SAUSAGE DAD—

The fact that Ricky got to keep Tupac is essentially all the resolution I need.

This is the most a film blog will ever mention Tupac

This old man chooses the skux life. Moral of the story.

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Overall Rating: A+
Comments: WOW. What a great movie. I watched it again two days later with my boyfriend. He loved it, too. It’s a movie for everyone. There are so many cute moments, TONS of quotable lines, (which are even more fun because they have accents!), it is both serious and heartfelt and hilarious. The characters are all well developed (even Sausage dad) and the dialogue is witty, warm and full of movie references. Also, now I know what Burger Rings are.

Return to Oz

A wheelin’ good time!

Never seen the movie? Me neither! Watch the trailer here.

With Annie Niehoff

This is one of my favorite movie because:

It’s a movie from childhood that has everything. Fantasy, adventure,  90s outfits, loveable talking moose heads! It’s a beautiful time when kids movies weren’t afraid to go dark.

I am shocked Darch hasn’t seen this because:

We grew up in the 90s. Right? How old is Darch?

The three parts I’m most excited for Darch to see are:

1. The Wheelers!!!

2. Princess Mambi’s heads

3. Gnomes are allergic to chickens!!!!

Darch

I’m pretty sure this movie is about:

The gang getting back together but it’s like after college and they’ve all moved on with their lives and only the lion doesn’t have a ton going for him so he’s like really pushing that they all get together. But seriously, they are all just really different people now and don’t have a ton to talk about and they’re trying, but it’s just not the same.

Famous scenes/lines I think are in this movie:

“Fuck Toto, we’re STILL not in Kansas.” “Get a fucking heart, Tinman.” “Are you fucking serious?” “Guuuuysss, remember, remember the old dayssss?” -The Lion.

I haven’t seen this movie because:

I’ve barely seen the first one.


Darch types in gray over here.

Annie types in maroon over here.

—WE SET THE SCENE, BLANK AF KANSAS—

I forgot that the Wizard of Oz takes place in the neighborhood next to Little House on the Prairie.

“It’s been 6 months since the tornado.” Then how is Dorothy 10 years younger????

So that’s Fairuza Balk. She’s the trashy gal the Water Boy dates on Water Boy the movie.

Maybe this girl needs therapy because the only people she talks to are animals.

THEY HAVE TO PAY A MORTGAGE? To a bank that’s 500 miles away? Just build a secret house.

—THEY GO TO A CREEPY DOCTOR IN A MANSION THAT’S 20 YEARS MORE TECHNOLOGICALLY ADVANCED THAN THE REST OF THE STATE AND THE “THERAPY” IS OF THE ELECTROSHOCK VARIETY—

It’s Tic Toc. This is foreshadowing right now.

Oh good. A brunette needs a good blonde in her life.

SO much foreshadowing right now. If only Darch knew…

So Dorothy is at this insane asylum because she can’t sleep and the bitch head nurse is like “You can take a nap if you’d like?” WOW.

These hospital dudes look like they are from A Clockwork Orange.

How do these hospital dudes go home to their wives? “How was work today hun?” “Pretty good. Only hated myself three times.”

Remember when you said she needed therapy for talking to animals? Well now shes getting electrocuted so she doesn’t do that anymore…”electroshock therapy”

Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared would have a field day with this effed up electroshock machine.

—BLONDE HELPS DOROTHY ESCAPE FROM THE ASYLUM—

Who did it better? Blonde and brunette on a door or Jack and Rose?

door-side-by-side

Wow. Even just being put NEAR the electroshock machine helped Dorothy sleep. IT REALLY WORKS.

—SHE WAKES UP IN A TINY DESERT OF OZ WITH A TALKING HEN—

LUNCH PAIL TREE BITCHES!

Man, I really wish we had these irl.

“Oh look it’s a lunch pail tree!”- Dorothy “What happened to breakfast?”- Hen “BITCH. I just carried your ass across the deadly desert. You do something.” -Dorothy

Bellina is so integral to this story.

I hope a major plot point is that every very creative and colorful character and creature is now just a rock in this lazy ass Oz.

—THE MAKE IT TO THE EMERALD CITY AND EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE—

I learned that “saxify” means to turn to stone. So that’s what happened to these people. Idk like I looked up that word in the dictionary or something after this movie.

Darch is about to find out what a Wheeler is and its going to change her life forever

—THEY MEET TIC TOC—

That mustache SCREAMS chicken eater.

No reaction from Darch on the Wheelers. My childhood is ruined.

EVERYTHING IN OZ TURNED TO STONE.”

Why do Wheelers have night club outfits on? Everything is gray… and they have pink hair and shiny outfits.

I love how much Tik Tok loves his pail.

—WE MEET PRINCESS MOMMY—

The best part is that only some of these heads have some of her memories.

New head totally doesn’t match that outfit.

I love that Princess Mommy was like “I’ll pick the evil head” and Dorothy was like “Oh, okay.”

Lol Princess Mommy.. It’s Mombi.

—WE MEET JACK SKELETON, I MEAN, JACK PUMPKIN HEAD, AND ANNIE AND I DISCUSS NAPS—

Soooooo Dorothy meets a creature made of sticks that is going to be her best friend for the rest of the movie? This is pretty much a remake of the first fever dream.

Cabinet 31? You mean like, the date of Halloween? I see you L. Frank Baum.

Right after she locks a person in a tower — wait she didn’t even lock it– Princess Mombi be like, NAP TIME!

Does Princess Mommy sleep with a head on?

Like you would think that head has all the time in the world to sleep. Be ready heads. When Mombi puts you on, you should be “on.”

Ahh she doesn’t sleep with a head on!! Trip her Dorothy!

Classic MAN. He gets to action and his brain turns off.

—THEY BUILD A GUMP AND USE IT THE WAY A GUMP SHOULD BE USED—

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via GIPHY

You know what, these palm tree branches are definitely strong enough to hold a chicken, a pumpkin head with a stick body, a little girl, a machine man, and MY COUCH BODY.

Say what you will about electroshock therapy but Dorothy is getting a lot of good sleep.

This pumpkin is falling at an unreasonable rate.

In Oz, you fall in slow motion.

I wonder how long its been. Is this place like Narnia and when you return its 7 centuries later?

—THEY MAKE IT TO THIS MYSTERY MOUNTAIN WHERE THE NOME KING LIVES—

I love how HUGE Oz is and still Dorothy knows what and where everything is.

The Nome King kind of has a good point. Like everyone in the emerald city, mined his stuff and took it.

L. Frank Baum being like “Don’t take my natural resources away.”

“Important allegories about the American economy.” – L. Frank Baum. I feel like if I understood this more, maybe Trump wouldn’t be president.

—THE NOME KING PROPOSES A WAY FOR THEM TO GET BIZZARO SCARECROW BACK—

I play this game in grocery stores with my family. “Touch the green object and say ‘Oz’”

Here’s a fun and super arbitrary game I just made up now…

Those look just like the helping hands in Labyrinth.

So if I’m correct in all of my thoughts. Dorothy just got shocked in the real world. And the idea of people becoming “ornaments” is like when they are catatonic. Or maybe I should just watch the movie and have fun.

I love this weird ass crossdressing mofo.

Darch makes a good point about the Nome King smoking rocks in his pipe.

He is Tim Curry of the Gnomes

—THE HEADED PRINCESS MOMMY COMES TO YELL AT THE NOME KING THAT SHE MESSED UP AND LET DOROTHY GALE ESCAPE—

“It’s more flowery this way” says the dude wearing a dress and ruby slippers UNSURPRISINGLY.

That’s a robe. But fair.

—DOROTHY SOLVES THE RIDDLE AND STARTS FREEING PEOPLE FROM BEING GREEN KNICK KNACKS, ROCK MONSTER DECIDES TO START EATING HIS FOES

Bellina shit an egg she was so scared.

This Rock monster is poisoned by the promise of new life?

Or the farming industry?? I’m missing the metaphor.

The Nome King’s occupation listed on Wikipedia is “expatriate wanderer.”

 

—THE EMERALD CITY IS REBUILT OVERNIGHT AND THE SCARECROW IS THE KING THE WHOLE GANG IS BACK TOGETHER!—

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Everyone is simply BEGGING this 9 year old to marry a 30 year old scarecrow.

“I’ll send you back on one condition. You can ask for anything you’d like at any moment. That’s the condition.”

Why did they have to make the cowardly lion an animatronic??? He looked better as a human in a costume.

Bellina said, “fuck your world, I’m staying here.”

—DOROTHY COMES BACK TO THE FARM, ALL IS FORGIVEN ON BOTH ENDS—

I like the idea that Dorothy is 19 and bringing her soon to be husband home (it was a different time) and Dorothy is like “These are my relatives, they tried to instituionalize me and shock me until I was “better” because I had an active imagination.”

“It’s too nice of day to stay inside.” Aunt Em, it is literally nicer outside than it is in your bunk ass house.

Overall Rating: A
Comments: Wow. What a great movie. It made no sense at times. It was so bizarre I feel like I’ll have nightmares as an adult. Why did they say this movie was a sequel when it has a completely different tone and many of the last movie’s main characters are dramatically changed? I loved the weird creatures even though they were essentially the same as last time. Guy made of nature, guy made of metal, speaking animal, Wicked woman and her semihuman flunkies, “Wise” man that is fooled by a child. I’m going to show my kids this movie when I have some and let them have nightmares about imagination.

Serial Mom

A proper good time!

Never seen the movie? Me neither! Watch the trailer here.

With Justin Ulrich

This is one of my favorite movie because:

I used to watch corny horror movies all the time with my old roommate. She made me appreciate movies that are funny, not because they’re comedies, but funny because they exist and someone took the time to make them. Serial Mom is the epitome of that.

I am shocked Darch hasn’t seen this because:

It’s the only thing John Waters has made that not cringe-worthy or Hairspray.

The three parts I’m most excited for Darch to see are:

1. Schizophrenic prank call

2. Demonic-voice sex scene

3. SHE KILLS AN OLD LADY WITH A FUCKING COOKED LEG OF LAMB

Darch

I’m pretty sure this movie is about:

I mean, a serial killer mom. This one is really obvious. But WHY? I think she’s been a working woman for too long. She loses her job one day and can’t go home to face the kids. She meets a wandering salesman who only shows her kindness and wealth. She is beyond. She must have his money, so she can provide for her family. It starts with just wandering salesman, but then it becomes all the people that ever looked down on her for not having enough money. She ends up killing literally all of the Joneses.

Famous scenes/lines I think are in this movie:

The scene where she’s sitting on a motel bed and crying over the first traveler she murdered. Also a scene where she’s getting resourceful and feeding her kids like bone marrow o’s for their breakfast serial.

I haven’t seen this movie because:

I’ve never heard of it and I’m not super into like, “mom” movies.

Darch types in gray over here.

Justin types in maroon over here.

Average wait time for a movie to start: One hour.

—JUSTIN AND I HAVE TOO MUCH FUN WITH THE OPENING CREDITS—

Who the fuck is Mink Stole?

Patty Hearst is NOT in this movie. She’s in a closet somewhere.

Ricky Lake… you definitely did not peak in high school

—JUST YOUR CLASSIC 1950’s FAMILY WHERE THE MOM IS A PSYCHO—

serial-momfamily

When is this movie set? The 50’s?

Oh, no the 90’s.

So Misty is young enough to still be into PeeWee Herman dolls, but old enough to go with “Carl” to Fuck Point without her mom batting an eyelash

—SOMEONE HAS BEEN PRANK CALLING A NEIGHBOR AND THEY SENT TWO DETECTIVES OUT TO INVESTIGATE INSTEAD OF JUST IGNORING IT. WHITE PEOPLE—

So glad to hear that the detectives know the mom is insane. It’s nice to see competent cops every so often in the movies.

“I don’t use bad language” said the lady who just answered the phone “Fuck you cocksucker”

So we’re to believe that this insane 50’s housewife is harrassing a woman because she stole a parking space one time?

—MRS. CRAZY GOES IN FOR PARENT TEACHER CONFERENCES FOR SHAGGY—

Queue the racist asshole 90’s principle character

Okay, I’ve been a teacher before and you simply don’t talk to parents like this. It’s literally illegal to recommend therapy.

Oh god… this movie just reminded me that gum use to have two wrappers on it. Gross.

I would definitely say that station wagon is my weapon of choice.

serial-mom-final

—JUST IN TIME FOR DINNER AND THE NIGHTLY NEWS—

I’m glad they timestamp every scene. I wouldn’t have known that them eating meatloaf at the dinner table was around evening time.

It’s always the math teacher that gets murdered. It’s a dangerous job.

“Whoever did this should get the death penalty.” This was Sam Waterston’s first taste of Law & Order.

—THE MOST UNCOMFORTABLE SCENE—

Is her bird book just a book of serial killers that she’s in love with?

Who hears their parents fucking and goes to investigate?

Matthew Lilard’s finest role is in She’s All That.

—SERIAL MOM IS JUST A NORMAL HOUSEWIFE THAT JOKES ABOUT MURDERING PEOPLE IN GRAPHIC TERMS. HAHAHA—

The thing that really gets a serial killer’s goose is people that don’t recycle.

Also how are people who drink on the job this so earth conscious.

—CARL, RICKY LAKE’S OBNOXIOUS FUCK BUDDY, DITCHES HER FOR ANOTHER CHICK AND GETS CAUGHT BY THE WRONG PSYCHOPATHIC MOMMA BEAR—

“$3? I guess that’s how I must have marked it…” Um that dude can just change the price of his goods at any moment. It’s a flea market.

I’ve never been to a Men’s bathroom before, but aren’t there usually like, other people?

90’s were the good ol’ days.

You could shit and not wash your hands.

Flea Market bathroom stalls had glory holes.

Take me back.

Why is a man who’s eating something walking into the Men’s bathroom?

—AND… ANOTHER BODY (CARL) IS DISCOVERED—

An overwhelming amount of clues in this movie. The opposite problem of Pretty LIttle Liars.

I love how perturbed she is about Scottie’s lack of wearing his fucking seatbelt

This lady reminds me a lot of my mom, except that she wears pants.

I would love to see the stage directions for this scene. “Yeah, eat the food but like, more ravage-y.”

During this part of the movie, mostly Lorne and Christen talked about keyboards. Hope nothing important happened.

—(WHAT WE MISSED) THE FAMILY IS ONTO SERIAL MOM. SERIAL MOM IS KILLING PEOPLE FASTER. EVERYONE KIND OF KNOWS, BUT NO ONE WANTS TO ADMIT IT. THEY GO TO CHURCH AND EVERYONE IS BACKING AWAY FROM HER LIKE SHE’S THE DEVIL INCARNATE—

Misty has no concern that her mom is going to jail, just that she’s not gonna get laid in high school.

What exactly caused her husband’s change in tune. Was the tape cassette from Ted Bundy not enough evidence for him?

—BEDLAM! PEOPLE ARE RUNNING, SCREAMING FROM SERIAL MOM—

So the horror nerds are helping the Serial Mom escape? And they seem very excited to steal Scotty’s car in the process. This is their day.

Misty is getting with the paparazzi, it kind of seems like everyone is better off.

Best part of the movie incoming.

Lamb sandwich with Mint Jelly looks amazing.

Cooking an entire lamb for lunch is criminal in its own right.

What fucking opulence, lady…

Classic pump fake-switching out the knife for the lamb shank.

—THIRSTY FOR ANOTHER KILL, SERIAL MOM CHASES AFTER SCOTTY—

Foreshadowing the seatbelt coming into play.

They’ve only been amping it up the entire movie.

Even in the face of danger Scotty can’t see that his biggest sin is not wearing a seatbelt.

These fucking rock punkers, punk rockers? Don’t give a fuck that Scotty is being murdered during their show. They arguably like it.

Is it even legal to arrest someone while their name is being chanted?

Every movie should end with a crowd chanting the title of the movie.

—SHE IS TAKEN TO TRIAL—

“My name is Timoty Naselrod.” That sucks dude.

I’m sure John Waters lost his shit when he came up with Timothy Nasslerod for a character name.

Okay. I’ve seen a lot of Law and Order and we ALL know opening statements happen before the prosecution can call a witness to the stand. Also, once they switched representation, Serial Mom should have been able to review all the evidence before just going through cross examination.

Dottie Hinkel. Best character in the movie.

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“Do you recycle?” Really the turning point of the whole case. Rosemary is clearly a bitch killer.

Everyone is waving at Suzanne Somers like she is going to wave back. She isn’t.

—SERIAL MOM IS FREE! DESPITE THE EXISTENCE OF FACTS AND LOGIC—

Why would you try to argue with Serial Mom?

She punched you in the face with a phone, and you still argue with her?

“No, please! Fashion has changed!” Best fight for your life I’ve ever seen.

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Overall Rating: A
Comments: This movie was insane. There were so many moments where I was thinking, “This isn’t really. No one could possibly believe this is correct. Nothing could get crazier” and I was wrong on all counts. It was fun and so stupid and corny. It has to be a cult classic somewhere and I’d love to go see it in a movie theater and like throw lamb at the screen. Besides the fact that she murders people, Serial Mom was actually a pretty good mom, teaching Ricki Lake not to body shame herself and standing up for Matthew Lilard and his weird boyish girlfriend for loving horror movies even when their teachers say it’s bad for them. It’s just you know, we all have our bad days.